Reader Caution is advised: this is a descriptive narrative of traumatic medical event and miscarriage. "Ouch!" I yelp in pain. The emergency room physician has accidentally pinched my cervix with her tenaculum, shooting an incredible pain throughout my entire body. It has temporarily roused me from the conscious, but semi-dream state I am floating in. … Continue reading The Hemorrhage (Part 1)
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My Year of The Homemaker
I wake up to a deep, familiar ache in my sinuses. This is my new post-covid norm, and while I hope that in a few months, it will no longer be a part of my daily routine, I am trying to keep myself free of worried expectations. I ask my husband to crack open the … Continue reading My Year of The Homemaker
The Car Ride Home
“I’m angry.” My husband says as he explains the recent FDA position statement on the use of anesthesia in kids under 3. “Was the first doctor just so spineless, as to simply capitulate to our concerns, rather than truly explaining these risks?” I hear him, but I’m breathing. I haven’t breathed in 2.5 months. 2.5 … Continue reading The Car Ride Home
The Specialist
Insurance won’t cover our out-of-network imaging orders. But, we’ve managed to get in with a new specialist who is in-network, and with a short turnaround time. Today’s doctor walks in with long hair flowing to the top of her hips. It is wavy, but clearly has had its curls brushed through. She leaves it undetained … Continue reading The Specialist
August 9th
My eldest son walks hastily into the room, banging our door against the wall, causing a crack to shake me awake. It’s his first day of middle school, and the giddiness of a child who knows they’re growing up is saddled on his face. I’m giddy also, in a mourning sort of way. My eldest … Continue reading August 9th
The Follow-Up
Today, the man wears purple scrubs. This particular set means something special to me, as one of the previously initiated. They scream “surgical scrubs”. I don’t believe this doctor performs surgery, he probably pilfered them long ago, and it’s just easier to wear scrubs every day, rather than deciding which professional attire matches wholly enough … Continue reading The Follow-Up
“His Pupils Are Uneven”
Today was one of the days when the difference in your pupils struck me, pulling me back to long nights filled with the worry of a dance between nurse and provider. It pulls me back to one particular patient, who had been deteriorating. I fought hard for the man. I knew, deep in my gut, … Continue reading “His Pupils Are Uneven”
Jess and The Fiat 