Reader Caution is advised: this is a descriptive narrative of traumatic medical event and miscarriage. "Ouch!" I yelp in pain. The emergency room physician has accidentally pinched my cervix with her tenaculum, shooting an incredible pain throughout my entire body. It has temporarily roused me from the conscious, but semi-dream state I am floating in. … Continue reading The Hemorrhage (Part 1)
Tag: motherhood
Embracing Family
This morning, I awake to the fussing of a feverish child, pushing his knees into my rib cage. Instantly, a wave of nausea overcomes me. I am so familiar with this nausea, and yet, every time it threatens to crumple me. I hadn’t always planned on having this many children. I wasn’t one of those … Continue reading Embracing Family
Contemplation
The whir of the refrigerator fills the white-walled space with noise. I am sitting alone in our new home, a luxury few and far between at this phase of my life (one filled with small fingerprints echoing throughout my home). From my nestled space on the couch, I witness the green of oak swaying in … Continue reading Contemplation
God in the Garden
It is our second season of learning how to be good plant parents. I grew up surrounded by gardeners. People who, beaming, would dive their teeth into the fresh crisp red of a homegrown tomato, right off of the vine. People who treated their plants as their children, and unfortunately, at times- better. You'd think … Continue reading God in the Garden
Blue Pillar Candle
Tonight we are stuffed into our bed in the usual sardine fashion. This particular night, we are packed into a new arrangement. Sister holds onto small-brother, for the first time in the 9 months since he was born, leaving one of my shoulders free. My body is given a rest from its nightly contortionist act. … Continue reading Blue Pillar Candle
My Year of The Homemaker
I wake up to a deep, familiar ache in my sinuses. This is my new post-covid norm, and while I hope that in a few months, it will no longer be a part of my daily routine, I am trying to keep myself free of worried expectations. I ask my husband to crack open the … Continue reading My Year of The Homemaker
September 22nd.
I sit on the grey pergo flooring, hints of brown peeking through. From far away, it appears as real wood, but I'm happy that it isn't, because I want mopping to be an easy chore. I'm seated in front of Rowan's kitchen. Bits of metal and wood fused to mirror a real-life oven and stovetop, … Continue reading September 22nd.
August 9th
My eldest son walks hastily into the room, banging our door against the wall, causing a crack to shake me awake. It’s his first day of middle school, and the giddiness of a child who knows they’re growing up is saddled on his face. I’m giddy also, in a mourning sort of way. My eldest … Continue reading August 9th
Jess and The Fiat 